January 2012
30 posts
MENTAL ILLNESS AS A NAME FOR PROBLEMS IN LIVING.
“i love you, i need you. oh show me how to shine. i love you, young flower. now...”
Anonymous asked: your writing is spectacular. i turned 16 today & i'm having the worse day. i feel your words can cheer me up.
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Recommend some blogs with good writing?
Anonymous asked: Post more photos of yourself?
ask. tell. avoidance. →
1 tag
a ghost without a body; a body without a glow. the sound the night makes as it grows darker & the air temperature changes. the sound your lips make when your air passes through them. it’s the sound of one million birds trapped inside these ribs & the sound of one million fleeting moments caught by my teeth. it’s the sound of heavy breathing & the moving of sheets. it’s the sound of...
say something about yourself: what is there to say? words, not feelings. i feel nothing. i am twenty three going on twenty four & i feel nothing. i have an awful fucking wanderlust lately & i’ll spend my hours silent staring at some terrible tv or wall or room full of children & i’ll be off in the country or laying in a bed in the middle of the city. say nothing. be...
“like any lover he read poems but in crocodile language.”
Anonymous asked: Say something about yourself?
the scene was dark as it played out on the interior of your eyelids. there were glimpses of light which illuminated certain things in a certain rhythm: your smile, your bare thigh, even your laugh caught the light. there were sparks of skin searching for skin & the room light up completely when you sank yourself in.
“i hate my body, i hate the desert. when will i be going home?”
when they came they tore through our houses searching for answers, any answer. they tore through each room destroying all we had built. they shattered our glasses & dirtied our linens. they shouted each word as if through a megaphone & their words came out in broken sobs. they were searching for answers yet they were unaware of their question. they just didn’t want to hurt anymore.
“the machines beneath the sidewalk are always whispering. strive to listen close....”
ask. →
ghost, ghost. things were broken & now they’re right again. let’s talk.
i followed the screams through the forest where i found you, waist deep in water & crying. you spoke of the end & how we would all be saved from the evil. you followed a trail of young men with bloody brows & dark eyes. the stars were bright, even in the sunlight. i asked if we could ever be saved from ourselves.
my words stopped falling from my ghostly fingers & the ones that come out all seem so trite. i’ve come undone, i mean unplugged. (i’m in love & everything’s fine.)
i’ve got bruised & an elevated heart rate. the snow’s coming to wash all that evil away. oh no, no, no it can’t clean it from these bones.
“i got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips, on me tighter than my dereon jeans.”
i’ve been having dreams where people’s belly’s are full with life. their belly’s are swollen with passion, extended with beauty. inside of them there are universes creating universes creating universes. my belly’s been howling with hunger.
your words dripped honey slow as i licked the enamel clean off your teeth.
wake up! wake up! keep your sleepy eyes to the sky, the quadrantids will be making magic during the bedtime hours of the early morning. set your alarm for two & look at all the beauty.
i’ve been discussing the future with the shadows on the wall. a sleight of hand & they’re born again. if only it were so easy.
we’re all crazy, we’re all false. it’s a new year & we’re floating on air. my body is breathing electric. every nerve, every bone, every inch. i hear your voice like a choir & i want to devote myself to it’s religion.
December 2011
41 posts
“K IS YOU IS WHO YOU’VE CHANGED NOT WHAT YOU ARE, YOU’LL ALWAYS BE THE DEVIL TOO.”
winter moon. →
music (for ella)
“used to be of the rotten ones & i liked you for that.”
1 tag
tonight i was drove the dark back roads of north central massachusetts. it was very dark because towns don’t believe in street lights, animals see just fine in the dark. i was traveling home from the wake of an old business man, killed in a head on collision. my body is aching from the flu & the whole world has been floating in a brilliant way. i watched as the road stretched further...
oh every inch hurts, even my words!
5 tags
all of the ramblings of your mind are golden to...
1 tag
my dream girl don’t exist… there are records playing & my chest aches from sickness; from love. i’m cycling & everything feels tenfolds what it should. november, december we break our nails digging into the frozen soil to bury ourselves away from the world & away from feeling anything. my nails are trimmed short to keep from burrowing away, not today. you smell like...
“& with my little fingers, i could make it all crumble. i could make it all...”
i’ve counted the notches on your spine & i’ve studied the way it curves with each one of your movements. your body is a map; our bodies are maps. with each destination there comes a story. some are dreadful (the left elbow), some are sexual (the right side of the clavicle), some were written in feelings, without words.
don’t let yourself get sad. don’t let yourself be carried away. into dreams of ghosts & the future’s present tense.
ask; tell. →
a day in bed means a sleepless night.
“& we fell into it like a daydream, or a fever.”
happy birthday to you. the ghost who haunted each room of my child hood. our home would shake with your laughter & doors with slam with your sadness as you watched things fall apart & come back together once again. you are flashes of light & the movement of air. you were the creator of everything i hold dear.
during the morning, when the moon still hid the sun, i felt magic in my bones. the alcohol was wearing off so i know, yes, it was the magic. the heat, the energy, the awareness of light. it was bodies in motion & comfort in silence. i think about forever, my temperature is too high.
